Edit: It will never cease to make me laugh that I get more genuinely serious discussion comments on my meme posts in /c/Memes than anywhere else. I’m not hating, I love it.
Edit 2: Chicago-Style deep dish pizza isn’t pizza go fuck yourself
AKA people are idiots.
Never forget that the 1/3 pounder failed because people were too dumb to realize that 1/3 is bigger than 1/4…
Would never have happened if 'murica used metrics lol
In my boyfriend’s hometown they used to have this restaurant that served this thing called a hubcap burger
And it was indeed, wide enough to be the hubcap of a car, while being basically flat.
I mean… I’m hungry…
Where’s the address?
Southern Brazil.
Food for thought: a sufficiently tall and narrow burger ain’t a burger anymore, when it’s roughly spherical rather than roughly cylindrical it’s also not a burger and if it’s large and brick-like it’s yet something else.
spoiler
Cevapcici Kofta; Meatball; Meatloaf.
So burger is a geometrically bound dish definition.
Meatloaf and meatballs have things like egg and breadcrumbs mixed in, and don’t tend to come on buns.
People who put such things in their hamburger patties are eating meatloaf sandwiches, not hamburgers.
Hah! Joke’s on you: you haven’t seen my cooking!
Nah. If you put two plates in front of me and one had a regular burger on it and the other had a burger that was as wide as the plate itself, I’d pick the one that most accurately reflects how much I hate myself at that moment.
I mean, humans completely suck at evaluating vertical distances, thinking that
taller = moreis just further evidence, I’d sayI disagree with the glasses part as counterargument. Pizzas are sold by diameter in places that offer large and small - some even do medium. I also believe it would be nicer to have wider burgers instead of taller
Counterpoint - pizzas are sold by diameter, but pretty much everyone I know underestimates how diameter corresponds to actual pizza size and think a 16" pizza is twice as big as an 8" pizza instead of four times as big, which it actually is. Meanwhile, a burger patty that is twice as big as another one is actually twice as tall, while one that is wider is only about ~41% wider. Vertical dimension is more intuitive for the overall mass difference.
Just sell by patty weight.
But a third is less than a quarter!
Until you start selling a 1/3 lb burger to outcompete the 1/4 lb burger, but people are “4 is more than 3!” so your marketing fails…
Um… unfortunately, that doesn’t work, either. ::facepalm::
Who would even eat the taller pizza? I’d find it disgusting. I’m not saying anything about the burger.
Deep pan pizza is pretty good.
You have just insulted everyone in Chicago.
I’ll do it, Chicago has terrible taste in food. Deep dish is preposterous, Malort is an abomination, and despite how you feel about ketchup, relish should not look like the ooze that creates ninja turtles.
Deep dish is delicious. Lasagna is delicious. Baked ziti is delicious. Calzones are delicious.
Look, you can’t go wrong with tomato sauce, cheese, dough, and optional meat. It’s all delicious, and playing around with different ratios is still great.
Thank you. A deep dish pizza isn’t a pizza. It’s, at best, a fucking stew.
It’s a fucking casserole.
I recorded this rant because I’m bored. I fuckin hate deep dish and NY style pizza.
I don’t know what kind of culinary trauma Chicago is working through but their pizza isn’t pizza, it’s a STEW, or at best a stew with ambitions. It’s a stew with a gluten lid. I need a ladle, not a fork. I have to displace sauce like I’m fording the fucking Oregon Trail just to find the crust. It’s lasagna that forgot it was Italian. It’s soup gaslit into thinking it can achieve something. You don’t eat that shit you survive it. You don’t chew it, you contemplate your entire life while shoveling it in and wondering how something with so much molten cheese could still feel emotionally cold.
I’m in agreement with Jon when it comes to Deep-Dish pizza and how it isn’t a pizza but a tomato-laden crime scene in a cast-iron pan. But he comes in so hot and screaming like he’s right about how real pizza folds. No. No Jon. I ain’t ever going to trust a fucking dude from New Jersey when it comes to pizza. That’s just New York opinions with worse parking. It’s like if Staten Island got a podcast and decided it was a food critic. These are people who look at a strip mall and say “This is where I want my Italian food experience to begin.” You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops. They serve slices so thin you could laminate one and use it as a fucking bookmark. Their idea of crust is “whatever’s left after sadness finishes baking.” You pick up a slice and it’ll collapse faster than their economy would if you banned tanning beds.
Fucking Jon motherfucking goddamn Stewart out here talking about how reall pizza fooooolds. Oh. Does it? DOES IT JON? Real pizza folds? My money folds (jiggle jiggle). My spine folds after sleeping the wrong way. My dreams fold under the pressure of existence. That doesn’t make thme LUNCH. But of course he would love this goddamn monstrosity called ‘New York Style Pizza’. You would too if you grew up being told that thin floppy bread covered in oily regret was pizza. It isn’t pizza. It’s barely a suggestion of pizza. It’s whispering the concpet of mozzarella over a saltine while screaming about the Jets.
I love Jon. I really do but I wish he would stick to tearing down Fox News and republicans because when he says NY Pizza is the real deal all I hear is “I enjoy food that is as thin, undercooked and as lacking in substance as a conservative argument.” Stay with eviscerating fascists and not defending pizza that looks like it needs an intervention and a fuckin’ towel.
I make no comment about the merit of your argument either way, but hot damn you love to see the passion!
I’m a big fan of Detroit style. And I’m aware it’s basically focaccia bread with pizza toppings on it.
You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops.
I’ve been getting pizza from NJ for ~45 years. I have never seen this crossover.
Folded pizza is real, and it’s delicious.
I loved the Chicago bit!!! Absolutely hilarious! If new york pizza isnt real pizza what is real pizza in your opinion?
This was the most enjoyable read I’ve had since I joined Lemmy! Took me back to reddit just around the Digg-exodus era. Bravo!
A casserole
For anyone who is not from Chicago, Malort is a bitter liquor that tastes like you poured anise through a filter of mud and used motor oil.
It tastes like what male cat pee smells like.
Though to be fair, I don’t think Chicago people like it either and only buy it because it’s terrible
From what I understand it’s what you drink at the family reunion once you run out of cheap beer and need to forget how bad Chicago is.
This guy gets it. It’s fascinating being judged on what one puts on a hotdog by the dyed relish gang.
Unsurprising from the same people who light train tracks on fire and lean out on glass 400 stories in the air for a thrill.
Okay, but to be fair, while it is delicious, it also is not “pizza” (insert bit from Jon Stewart:-).
ITS A CASSEROLE!
Gaba gool!:-P
Buns and patties would have to come in two different sizes for wide and regular burgers, and it’s probably more economical for restaurants to make them all in one standard size.
Actually worked in a fast food place, and we had three sizes iirc. Patties and Buns.
The issue is toppings still have to go up. It’s not like you can do a burger with the works and have zones of flavor. “Ooh this was the lettuce bite! I hope I get the pickle next!”
So the more you put on your burger the taller it gets.
There’s also been an upsetting trend of smash burgers taking over every fucking restaurant. Ridiculously wide and flat patties that have a lot of flavor but it feels like you’re eating a fried piece of cheese rather than a good burger.
Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a good smash burger. It definitely has it’s place. I used to make them but found that just making a chopped cheese was easier and honestly a little better.
But a fat, juicy, pink all the way through and almost red in the middle burger that squirts when you bite it will always be the king of my grill. And generally if I’m going to go get a burger somewhere, that’s what I’m actually craving. This burgers must be taller. If you make that kind of patty too wide you either need to add a binder to keep it together, which kinda ruins the texture, or you’ll need a really wide spatula to flip it and honestly some of them are still going to fall apart on you. Just the nature of the beast.
There’s also been an upsetting trend of smash burgers taking over every fucking restaurant. Ridiculously wide and flat patties that have a lot of flavor but it feels like you’re eating a fried piece of cheese rather than a good burger.
If your smash burger is thin then they’re not doing it right
Been smash cooking burgers since I was 8 (fuck me 21 years?! MY BURGER COOKING CAN DRINK?!) and never had a thin burger as a result
A burger should have bun, meat, cheese, dressing and maybe bacon…Everything else is a side dish that has no business inside the burger.
A&W tried something like this. Sold a 1/3 pound burger because its bigger than the popular Quarter Pounder sold by its competition, larger than a Whopper even. It undersold and when people were asked why; it turns out people think 1/3 is less than 1/4. By the numbers, here.
Thus the title <3
Ya, made me member. Wasnt sure if the story was well known enough.
Oh I wasn’t saying that like I was complaining. Was saying that like to add onto your comment for those confused by the title. Sorry if it came off bitchy.
No, no. I added context, a comment and community to a silly meme. I love you
Love you too buddy <3
Tbf any variation of “one third of a pound” is a shit name, so all this proves is that they failed to market the product.
The real answer is likely that extra wide buns are not available from suppliers, and nowhere bakes their own bread these days. For the chains that have their own off-site bakeries and supply chains, the majority of consumers probably don’t want a much bigger burger, and those that do have big enough mouths to fit extra tall burgers, or buy 2 burgers which are easier to eat. I know if I’m extra hungry I’ll grab 2 cheeseburgers, but most of the time 1 plus the mandatory chips is enough childhood nostalgia junk for me. I wouldn’t care about a 50% wider cheeseburger.
They’re likely all getting their buns (and everything else) from Sysco anyways, so I can’t imagine different sized buns would be that hard to source.
Ok I’ve always hated this “advertising study”. A&W is a small fish in a big pond. Expecting their shitty third pounder to outsell a core McDonalds menu item in its prime is a Herculean task. Americans do suck at math but maybe your burger sucked a bit more.
Murica!
To be fair, I can’t think of a good name for a 3rd of a pound. “Thrice Slice” looks good, but is cumbersome to pronounce, and it sounds like a pizza.
Its amazing what a defunded education system can produce honestly.
I mean it worked for subway. Until they started skimping
Their success came from it being specifically longer. It’s much harder to visualise a bigger surface area, like how a 10 inch pizza is bigger than two 7 inch pizzas. Subway on the other hand only stretches it in one axis, so the number goes up faster.
I don’t want long burgers, although I don’t know why. Big fan of the circle.
Roy’s once had the bodacious bacon cheeseburger. It was pretty lit.
It was 1/3 of a pound and elongated.
The form factor is not bad it’s like the original chicken sandwich from Burger King.
It’s easy, just call it something different, like a chopped cheese.
Some poboy shops here sell a long burger. My gym buddy used to regularly eat the 8 patty footlong double. Must have been a pound of meat on it, never mind the cheese and other toppings.
Size factors are tricky and the issue with fractional weights. I say we make wider Burger circles and number then in onces in the USA and grammes in the rest of the world. I want my 200 Burger and my 400 Burger wide.
Just go snake mode and unhinge your jaw.
The fundamental problem is that burgers are a stack.
True, a burger queue might be more advantageous.
B-Tree burgers.
I prefer my burgers as red black trees
So what your saying is we need a better burger backend dev?
I mean, I can’t argue with the little girl though, I like that tall thin glass better as well.
Add a fun straw and some decorations and I’m all in.The tall, thin one would be better for champagne.
counterpoint: wattaburger in texas is very popular
So the invisible hand of the market has spoken, I see
Yesss, taller burgers are anything but nice.
